In 1971 my parents went on holiday to Italy, taking with them the 1969 reprint of this phrase book, originally published in 1963... a time before cheap package travel, when the type of Brit abroad was more Ian Fleming than the Inbetweeners. Having said that, the typical Anglo abroad in this phrase book seems pompous and somewhat accident-prone.
Hearing that we were off to Tuscany this summer my parents dug out the phrasebook and I chucked it in my bag. It was to be my second trip to Italy - I also went in 1971 but being only 3 at the time I don't remember too much about it and was struggling with English, never mind Italian.
The first time I actually opened it to check out some words was like opening a portal into another world, where the typical Englishman & Englishwoman abroad expected the finer things in life and were constantly plagued by foreign inadequacies. And note, there's a phrase for "I am English", but any Welsh, Scottish or Irish can jolly well work it out for themselves. Or perhaps in 1963 the compiler, one Isopel May, BA, PhD, couldn't entertain the thought of such people actually travelling abroad. Here's a selection of phrases (I've left out the Italian translations) thought to be key for the English nob to get by in foreign lands. I particularly love some of the progressions of phrases as situations rapidly escalate; it's almost like a half-written sit-com.
"Italy is a country where many dialects are commonly spoken, even by educated people."
Miscellaneous Expressions
You are wrong
It doesn't work
I don't know anything about it
It's not my fault
Superlatives (examples)
He is the richest of all
She is the least intelligent of the girls
General Difficulties
I don't understand you
What do you want?
Please speak slowly
Is there anyone here who speaks English?
This book may help you to explain it
Wait, I am looking for the phrase in the book
My bag has been stolen
That man is following me everywhere
I shall call a policeman
Help! Fire! Thief!
Who are you?
I don't know you
I don't want to speak to you
Leave me alone
That will do!
You are mistaken
I will give you nothing
I didn't do it
Go away now
It is very annoying
It has nothing to do with me
I did not know the rules
What have I done?
I have already paid you
I have paid you enough
Let me pass, please
Where is the British Consulate?
Popular or Slang Expressions (some of these are shown in the original format at the end)
Surely not!
You don't say!
He's a trump
Cocky
Make it snappy
I don't care a fig
What are you driving at?
That's going too far
Damn!
Cheese it!
This is a rum go
That's all bunkum
That's the giddy limit
Restaurants and Cafes
"Meals in Italy consist of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Afternoon tea is not a regular meal."
We want to eat at once
Please give us the menu
This wine is corked
This does not smell good
This plate is dirty
I cannot eat this
This meat is too fat
These grapes are sour
I feel a draught
Please shut the window
Can we have steak and chips?
I have already paid for service
There is a mistake in the bill
Check it, please
Motoring
Do you do repairs?
I have had a breakdown
Can't you do it at once?
There is a knocking I don't understand
There is a rattling which I can't find
I have lost all my documents
Do not go so fast
Travel
"Tourists should note that Italians do not form orderly queues for buses and trains, but board them in a happy-go-lucky manner, disconcerting to foreigners"
The plane is twenty minutes late already
There is fog at Milan
Does it land anywhere on the way?
Steward, have you any cigarettes?
Bring me some cotton wool, please [I really don't understand this one]
I do not feel well
Porter, here is my luggage
This is not mine
Don't leave this, don't forget that
No, I have nothing to declare
My luggage has already been examined
I cannot open my case
I have lost my keys
All these are for my personal use
I did not know I had to pay
I cannot find my porter
Have you seen my porter?
I have two first class seats reserved
I want a smoking compartment
Find me a corner seat by the window facing the engine
This seat is reserved
The numbers are the same
Someone has taken my seat
Excuse me, that is my seat
Find me another seat, please
Where is the guard?
I cannot find my ticket
Wait while I look for it
I have left my ticket in the compartment
I shall go and get it
I have got into the wrong train
Is there a hotel where I can stay the night?
Porter, I want to put this luggage in the cloak-room
I have left my umbrella in the train
Where is the lost property office?
Porter, take this luggage and find me a taxi
Hotels
"In most large hotels letters making inquiries or booking rooms in English will generally be understood; it makes a better impression, however, if the would-be guest writes in Italian. We therefore give below two sample letters which can easily be adapted to meet different requirements. For a prompt reply it is advisable to enclose an International Reply Coupon, which can be bought for 1s. at any Post Office."
[Yes, before the internet made all this a doddle, we had package holidays and travel agents that sorted all this guff out for you, but before then, this is how you were supposed to do it.]
"Dear Sir, I have been given your address by Mr. X, who spent some time in your hotel last year. As I intend to spend a week at ... in the second half of July, I should be glad to know if you can give me a double room at that period and, if you can, what your terms per person are for full board, including taxes and service charge. I should also like to know if you make a reduction for children under 10. I enclose an International Reply Coupon."
"Dear Sir, thank you for your letter of June 2nd. I should like to book a double room for 10 days from July 20th. Please be so kind as to put into the room a child's bed for our little boy, who is 2. We shall take half board, as shown in you list of terms. We expect to arrive by train on afternoon of the 20th. We should be glad if you could arrange to have us fetched from the station where we expect to arrive at 6.25 p.m."
I wrote to you a fortnight ago
Did you not get my letter?
I asked for a second-floor room
Have you a room with a private bathroom?
May I see the room?
It is too small
Have you nothing better?
I cannot sleep here; there is too much noise
I do not want a room looking on to the street
I do not like this room
If you can't give me something better I must look elsewhere
It is too dear, have you nothing cheaper
Very well, I shall take this room
My luggage is at the station; can you send for it?
I am expecting a young lady
Please send her up at once
The chambermaid never comes when I ring
Are you the chambermaid?
I have lost ....... in my room
Please look for it
I want a bath
There are no towels here
The sheets on the bed are damp
Have you made the bed?
Please fill me a hot-water bottle
The radiator is not working
The radiator is too hot
The light is very poor
This bulb is broken
The wash-basin is dirty
I have some things to be washed
When can I have them back?
I must have them by Saturday
There is a button missing
This zip-fastener is broken
I have two pairs of socks to be mended
I shall leave my clothes at the door
Will you have them brushed?
Please have these shoes cleaned
My shoes are damp; have them dried
I left my shoes here; where are they?
These shoes are not mine
Can you give me some paper and envelopes?
I want to send a wire
I want to see the head waiter
Are you the head waiter?
Give me a window table
I have just had a wire; I must leave at once
Please have my bill made out
I have not enough Italian money
Will you take a traveller's cheque?
Have the luggage brought down
Renting a flat
How does one cook in it?
When does the dustman call?
Will it be possible to get a part-time maid?
"It is almost impossible to get a full-time maid in Italy now, but women working by the hour are fairly easily found."
Sightseeing
I need a guide who speaks English
How much should one pay the guide?
We don't need a guide
What street is this?
I am lost
Which is the way to the beach?
Where can we bathe?
You will be out of your depth
Is it deep here?
I cannot swim very well
Mind the jelly-fish
Sport & Entertainment
Are you going to the races?
Which is the favourite?
Two hundred liras to win on .....
Have you won anything?
My horse was not even placed
There is a ball at the casino on Tuesday
Must one wear evening dress?
Would you like to dance?
I can't dance the twist
Acknowledging that the less-well-off Englishman may somehow find his way to Italy, the phrase book has a section on:
Hiking & Camping
Can you recommend a cheap restaurant?
It is too dear; have you anything cheaper?
I should like to wash
Is there a Youth Hostel near here?
We are looking for a camping site
Can we cut across country?
We want to keep to the main road
We are lost
Where can I buy methylated spirit?
The ground is very damp after the rain
We are soaked to the skin
The road is blocked by snow
The rocks are covered with ice
The wind is getting up
There are often thunder-storms at this time of year
It is terrible weather
Hairdresser & Chemist
I want a shave
I want a hair-cut
I should like it short at the back and sides
I want a shampoo and set
I want a perm
I should like some brilliantine / lacquer
Can you give me something for diarrhoea / constipation / headache / indigestion?
Can you give me something for insect / mosquito bites?
My skin has been burnt by the sun
My skin is smarting; have you some ointment for it?
Shopping
"Some Italian shops show a notice 'ingresso libero'; this means that customers may walk round freely, with no obligation to buy. Chain-stores and Self-service shops are useful for shopping, as goods and prices are clearly displayed and a minimum of conversation is required."
Have you any fast film?
Will you develop this film, please?
The film is jammed
The knob won't turn
Have you anything bigger?
Have you nothing longer?
Can you make me a parcel?
Have you a piece of string?
That's exactly what I wanted
You have given me the wrong change
This colour is too loud
Show me something quieter
It is broken
Can you refund my money?
Do you sell English cigarettes?
Do you stock long-playing records?
My watch needs cleaning
The main-spring is broken
This stocking is laddered
Can you darn this?
Accident & Illness
There has been an accident
Someone has fallen into the water
He has been run over
He is losing blood
Who is responsible for the accident?
Can you make a splint?
I am feeling very ill; please send for a doctor
I have a pain here
I have pains all over
My nose is bleeding
I feel giddy
I have no appetite; I get indigestion
I think I have food poisoning
What is your charge, doctor?
This tooth aches
I have lost a stopping
My plate hurts
Miscellaneous
Is there a Protestant church here?
Will you cash this cheque, please?
What is the rate of exchange to-day?
I have a letter of credit
Can you give me some small change for 1000 liras?
I think there is a mistake in your calculations
